One Step At a Time
by iu-atticus
Summary: Addison should have taken the weather as a sign that her day was not going to go well. Will the bad weather be an omen to all, or is there sunshine looming in the distance? Only riding out the storms will we know! WIP
1. The Start to a Bad Day

A/N: Okay folks! Here's my second stab at putting some thoughts down and it kind of melding into something. I was online last night with a good friend of mine and we both felt inspired to work on our own individual projects and I was trying to get past my current writer's block with Dancing On My Own but it seems that wall will be in place a little longer than I had anticipated (I've got a good chunk of the next part written out but I don't feel it's the best it could be). I don't even recall what time I started writing this, but I didn't stop writing until around 1 PM EST and ended up with about 11 pages before crashing and sleeping all day (oops). I wasn't going to post this until I had completely finished it, but my better judgment won out and I decided I'd rather share it on here than hoard it away until God knows how long it would take for me to finish it! I'm leaving up the rating of M for now as on down the line it will change.

Just a few general reminders! I can't say I have much knowledge within the medical field (yet) and so if I flub things, my apologies as I look things up generally online to get an idea of what I'm talking about and try to work around it as best as I can. Second, the first few installments will purely be based around Addison which will lead up to Meredith being introduced. It might be a long road, but I hope you guys won't get sick of me! Third, I do not own Grey's Anatomy despite wishing it was possible nor do I receive endorsement for writing this. Thanks for stopping by to check it out and please let me know what you think!

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><p>Addison should have taken the weather as a sign that her day was not going to go well. Throughout the entire day the weather in Los Angeles had been horrible. There had been storms rolling through the city since the early morning and with all the rain it had reminded Addison of her time in Seattle and the constant battle to stay dry. The storms and constant downpour had carried on into the late evening, which is where Addison currently found herself preparing the umbrella to exit Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. It seemed she could hardly recall a day where LA had seen such violent storms pass over the city and leave in its wake a path of destruction and tragedy.<p>

Her morning had started off relatively easy with a few appointments with patients at the practice but it was nothing taxing by any means. Her day quickly changed when she had received a phone call from the chief at Cedars-Sinai requesting her services on a patient who was being brought in and was eight months pregnant and had been in a severe accident. The young girl had been in her car when a lightning strike hit a nearby tree next to her car in the driveway of her home. The tree had fallen on the car and had pinned the young woman who was to be rushed to their hospital when the firemen could extract her from the crushed vehicle. Her presence had been requested immediately and Addison quickly jumped into action to inform Naomi that she was on her way to assist in a case and asked if she could cover the rest of her appointments for the day. Naomi had waved her off once she mentioned it was an emergency and agreed to cover the redhead's patients in the meantime since it was already later into the day and approaching dinner time for most.

Once Addison had reached the hospital she had been surprised that she managed to get there in once piece with how bad the roads had been. The rain had been coming down so hard that she almost had to pull off the road as she could barely see a foot in front of her car let alone the road and traffic that was ahead of her. Before too long she found herself clinging to her umbrella and rushing from the parking lot into the main lobby of Cedars-Sinai. Acclimating herself to her less than normal surroundings, Addison quickly found the right personnel to help her shed her items and gain the proper access she needed within the hospital. She had learned that the crew was still working to successfully pull the woman from the car, which would allow her time to calm herself and be prepared for what might need to be done when the girl was brought in. Finding a suitable place to change Addison quickly stripped down and tossed the loaner scrubs on before haphazardly gathering her clothing and tossing it to an intern to place with her other belongings which she would find once she was finished.

Addison had spent what felt like hours waiting for that ambulance to radio in that they were only a few minutes out from the bay when in reality it had only been a max of thirty minutes. She had taken the instructions from the chief to be ready to enter the OR and get to work and that if there were any complications he would inform her when they reached her. Shutting out any other thoughts than the impending task at hand, Addison had made her way to the OR they had booked and began the tedious process of scrubbing in. She entered the OR and was assisted in getting her gown and gloves on to wait until their patient was brought in.

The young woman was as pale as the sheet beneath her and had a tree limb protruding from the right side of her chest when they finally got her into the operating room. At first glance Addison noted she had a broken arm and leg and wondered what internal injuries the doctors altogether would be facing. Her first concern was for the children she was pregnant with as it was obvious this woman's body was in a state of shock and rapidly failing due to blood loss and possible trauma her abdomen had suffered when the tree trapped her in the car. Transferring her over to the operating table the doctors quickly began working to prepare her for surgery with the anesthesiologist leading the way and putting her under and the others getting the appropriate wires and monitors up and running to get her vitals known to all in the room.

Their attending orthopedic surgeon had made quick work of setting and splinting both the young woman's arm and leg before his work was done. He would tend to fitting a cast later and moved out of the way to be less of a hassle for the doctors left who were working to remove the tree limb from the woman's chest. Addison grabbed for the ultrasound to try and find the twins' heartbeats but was unable to detect either one.

"We need to do an emergency c-section and deliver these two now. Ultrasound didn't detect either heartbeat so we need to get in there," Addison commanded to the resident who was now going to be assisting her with the procedure and delivery. Addison made the initial incision before working as quickly as possible with the other incisions and the resident helping to cauterize the blood vessels to try and prevent as much bleeding as possible. After about ten minutes of working her way through layers of incisions Addison had reached the uterus and worked quickly to get the amniotic fluid suctioned away so she could utilize the forceps to help pull the first child out to get a grasp on them before moving to pull them out and the umbilical cord being cut. Addison registered no noise coming from the first child as the resident rushed the child over to a nearby station to suction them off and figure out what needed to be done. The second baby was quickly delivered and handed off to the resident to also work on the young newborn and assess the situation and take any necessary actions.

"I'm not hearing anything over there. Be my eyes, what's going on?" Addison asked as she worked to repair the woman's uterus and being unable to see what was happening with the twins. Just after she had asked that she heard the monitors start blaring indicating the young woman's blood pressure was dropping quickly and Addison noticed she was starting to hemorrhage and was losing blood at an alarming rate.

"What's happening Dr. Montgomery?" Dr. James Henderson asked as he was working thoroughly to repair the damage done by the tree limb that had impaled their patient. The limb had pierced through her right lung and had also broken two ribs while fracturing a third.

"She's hemorrhaging, Dr. Henderson. If I can't control the bleeding I'm going to need to do a hysterectomy. We need to hang another bag of O neg," Addison said quickly before realizing she had yet to hear an update from the resident assisting her. "I need an update on those babies," she demanded with a stern voice as she fought to control the bleeding but was quickly losing the battle.

"They didn't make it, Dr. Montgomery," the resident solemnly stated knowing that's not the news Addison wanted to hear. Addison figured that the damage sustained in the womb was far too much for the babies to survive let alone go unattended for such a long duration when the firemen were working to safely pull the mother out of the car. Setting those thoughts aside Addison continued to furiously work to control the bleeding but had been unsuccessful and was now working to perform a hysterectomy to diffuse the bleeding altogether. She had already been working on finishing the c-section for only a few minutes when she realized the bleeding couldn't be stopped. The next hour or more would be touch and go as she worked to stop the woman from having any further complications.

The hour went by before Addison knew it and she estimated in her head that she'd need perhaps another hour before she was finished and her job would be complete. Addison didn't have a clue how things were progressing beyond the work she was doing. She knew they were still in deep trying to repair the damage done to her chest and also a neurosurgeon was removing part of her skull to try to allow room for the swelling that had occurred when her head had been hit in the car. Straightening her spine Addison continued to work and do what she could to save this woman's life. It's all she could do and Addison was going to do it to the best of her ability.

After Addison had reached the two and a half hour mark she had finished the woman's hysterectomy and successfully stopped the bleeding which had helped stabilize her already tenuous blood pressure. She slowly moved from her sitting position and lowered the instruments in her hand onto the tray next to her before removing herself from the operating room to scrub out and wait to hear if the patient was all right.

She quickly shed her gown, gloves, and mask before making her way to the sink and thoroughly scrubbing underneath her finger nails, hands, and up her forearms and a little ways up past her elbows. Grabbing a nearby towel she dried herself off before pulling her scrub cap off and moving out of the room to find somewhere that was secluded but still nearby so she could wait for news. Despite the ability to sit and watch in the gallery Addison had no desire to watch the doctors fight to save that woman's life. She didn't need to hear the chaos of the operating room buzzing around her head and feeling like it was suffocating her. To avoid that noise Addison wandered around until she found an empty waiting room near the operating room and sank down into one of the standard issue hospital chairs. _No wonder why people hate hospital waiting rooms, _Addison thought. _These chairs alone would be enough to drive a person mad, _she contemplated as she shifted uncomfortably trying to find a position that wouldn't make her feel like she was sitting on a two-by-four but unfortunately found that comfort would be elusive as long as she was sitting there in that waiting room.

Resting her head in her hands she leaned forward to place her elbows on her knees to try and give her a moment to shut herself off from anyone who might come into the waiting room. Feeling the stiffness in her body settle in, Addison moved from her position and ran a hand through her hair and leaned back and settled in for the wait she'd be in for. Addison could only hope that when someone came to find her they wouldn't be delivering the final blow. She would have to take the rest of this day one step at a time.


	2. The Other Shoe Drops

A/N: So I was feeling a wee bit generous and decided to go ahead and post this next bit to the story! I'll blame it partially on the fact that I got the all clear from the dentist today with no cavities! It's the little things in life, I tell ya, ha. Like I said in the first part, bear with me as we crawl through this! I like a decent amount of detail without much jumping through time so I hope you guy don't mind it too much. This chapter is a little shorter than the first but I figured I'd post it so we could get this show on the road!

By the way, just in case any of you reading this didn't know, this will be a femslash fic, so if that isn't your cup of tea I suggest turning back since that's where it's going to end up. This story isn't really paired up with any specific episodes from the show, but it will draw from information through all seasons, even the current and acting like Meredith never switched trial information (minus the finale since I haven't seen it yet).

I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any rights to it.

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><p>It wasn't long after Addison had sought out refuge in the waiting room that one of the doctors in the operating room found her. Addison looked at her watch and realized only ten minutes had passed since she had been sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chair. She stretched into a standing position to greet the attending that was stepping in front of her who she knew to be Dr. James Henderson. Reaching out she shook his hand since she hadn't met the man earlier amidst the chaos of the situation. Addison took one look at his face and knew he wasn't there to deliver good news. The look in his eyes gave him away and Addison shook her head in understanding, indicating she knew what he was there to say.<p>

"We contacted the next of kin. They should be here at the hospital by now. When you stopped the bleeding we thought we'd have a bigger window but we didn't. She coded and we did everything we could to bring her back but her body gave out," Dr. Henderson stated somberly, his head dropping a little at having to say they lost a patient. Addison realized that she didn't even know their patient's name since she had moved straight to the OR to prepare for her arrival. That thought alone for some reason made the doctor's insides churn despite knowing the situation hadn't afforded her the time to learn it.

"What was her name?" Addison asked quietly as she pushed her hands into her scrub pockets and balling them into clenched fists to give her something to do. She met James' gaze and he realized she hadn't been in on the initial examination before they had wheeled her into the OR and hadn't heard the paramedics state her information when they brought her in.

"Samantha Dennison," he said before reaching over to squeeze Addison's shoulder before walking out of the empty waiting room. She watched him as he walked out and wondered if he would be the one to inform Samantha's family what had happened today. Realizing he had already left the room she quickly moved to catch up with him to express her desire to be there when he informed next of kin so she could also speak with them.

"Dr. Henderson," Addison said quickly as she noticed his white jacket billowing behind him slightly as he walked away to where she assumed Samantha's family was waiting. "I was hoping to be there when you inform next of kin," she explained, her voice resonating with assurance and confidence she wasn't actually feeling as she stepped up next to the younger attending.

"Of course," he said with another nod of his head. He motioned with his hand for Addison to follow him and she fell into step beside him as they made their way towards the family in the next waiting room to deliver news that would be devastating. Mentally bracing herself Addison followed James into the waiting room and noticed a middle-aged woman sitting alone in the middle of the room attempting to remain calm in an unfamiliar situation before they made their way towards her before she noticed their presence and stood to greet them.

"Excuse me, I'm wondering if either of you were the doctors operating on my sister, Samantha Dennison? I'm her sister, Alex. I got a call a few hours ago saying there had been an accident and that they would be bringing her here for surgery. How is she? Are the babies okay?" The sister asked quickly with hardly any time for a breathe between her questions. Addison waited for James to take the lead in addressing the sister before she would step in and inform her that her sister's twins didn't make it through the surgery either.

"Hello Alex, I'm Dr. James Henderson and this is Dr. Addison Montgomery and we both operated on your sister today. Paramedics brought your sister Samantha in after a lightning strike caused a tree to split apart and the majority of it fell on her car trapping her inside. Firemen worked to get her out and bring her here and when she arrived some initial scans indicated we would need to perform surgery. When the tree fell onto your sister's car a limb ended up crashing through the windshield and it struck your sister in the chest and stayed lodged there. She also sustained several broken bones from the impact," he said, as he remained quiet to allow the woman time to absorb that he had just informed her of. Addison noticed that Alex had brought a hand to cover her mouth to help quiet the sobs that were on the verge of escaping.

"She didn't make it, did she?" Alex asked before she choked back a sob as tears began to pour from her eyes and down her cheeks. Addison reached out to place a hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze before finding the words to address this woman who had just had her world turned upside down before shaking it even more with the news she was about to deliver.

"Alex, I'm so sorry but the injuries Samantha sustained were too severe. The doctors did everything they could. The impact from the falling tree also affected the babies. When your sister was brought in she was unresponsive. I performed an ultrasound and had to deliver the babies but the trauma they sustained in the womb was too much. We did everything we could to save them. I'm so sorry," Addison trailed off as she still held the woman's shoulder as her body shook with violent sobs as she fell back into a chair and continued to cry. Feeling a hand on her shoulder Addison turned to see James looking at her before giving her a nod to indicate that her job was done and that she could leave the hospital. Nodding back in acknowledgment Addison began her somber retreat from the waiting room as James stayed behind to offer what comfort he could to the grieving woman and answer any other questions she might have.

Inhaling a shaky breath Addison went in search of the attending who assigned her an intern to help her with her things when she arrived earlier. Quickly locating the person responsible she was able to find out the intern left her belongings in an open cubby in the interns' locker room and turning she slowly made her way towards it. Once she arrived she peeled off the borrowed scrubs and tossed them in a nearby hamper before rummaging around to grab her skirt and slide it on before putting on her wrinkled shirt and buttoning it up. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and thought she looked like hell. Digging around her purse for her cell phone Addison noticed she had missed a few calls and text messages but decided to deal with them later as she threw the offending object back into her purse. Taking another shaky breathe Addison looked around and located the bench behind her before reaching her hands out to grasp the wood before lowering herself down to sit.

Despite the fact that Addison had dealt with death on numerous occasions in her profession over the years, it was something that she never got used to. It was something she never wanted to be accustomed to because once that happened she feared she would have a major problem continuing her work. So when cases like these came along Addison always struggled when death was involved. It was never easy to know that a family was possibly crumbling due to losing a loved one and it was even harder when the children were lost as well. Addison sat on the bench and grieved for the loss of her patient and for the family before some of her own grief worked itself to the surface. The knowledge of never being able to have children of her own was something Addison had come to terms with but once in awhile the thought entered her mind in situations like these where the children were taken so suddenly from a world they had yet to experience. It pained her to see and experience such sorrow in life.

Wiping her eyes dry and composing herself she felt slightly embarrassed at crying in the middle of a locker room, an intern's locker room at that, before she cleared her throat and made sure no one had been around to view her moment of vulnerability. Pinching the bridge of her nose, Addison exhaled another shaky breath before gaining her equilibrium and moving to gather her things as she felt a headache looming dangerously close to becoming a migraine. She grabbed her umbrella and proceeded to make her way out of the hospital as she slung her purse over her shoulder and exited the small room. The chief had said the paperwork that would need her signatures would be sent to her and not to worry about it after the surgery and for that she was grateful.

Stepping outside the hospital doors Addison was greeted with howling winds and a cold rain that was chilling to the bone. She quickly opened up her umbrella and slowly began the trek out to the parking lot towards her car. She would call Naomi when she got home to explain what had happened but for now all she wanted to do was make it to the comfort of her warm bed that was calling her name. As she was walking down the path she noticed a sole woman sitting on the bench nearest to the parking lot sitting rigidly as the rain slammed against her already soaked clothing. From afar it looked as if the woman had been sitting in the rain long enough to be completely soaked, but with how quick the rain was coming down the woman could have been there for all of five minutes for all Addison knew. The woman must have experienced something painful if she was subjecting herself to this weather without an umbrella on a night like this.

As her steps drew her closer to the woman, Addison realized that her body was shaking yet the woman didn't seem to even realize that her body was betraying her wishes to sit scotch free in a downpour. Her gaze started from the converse covered feet to the clenched together hands in her lap as she came closer. Once she reached the bench and caught a glimpse of the woman's face she immediately stopped dead in her tracks as her mind processed the image that was sitting before her with quivering blue lips, soaked clothes stuck to her body and her hair looking a mess and clinging to the pale skin beneath it.


	3. The Ghost of You

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews and I hope to see them keep coming! Felt I owed it to you guys to give you more and leave you hanging a bit. I'm going to be out of town for the next few days and won't have time to post anything so hang in there! Hopefully I will have time to fit some writing in there somewhere. Any errors are solely mine. I proof a few times before posting but sometimes they slip by, so my bad. Enjoy!

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><p>Meredith Grey hadn't even noticed Addison's presence in front of her. She had been sitting in the rain for all of ten minutes before her mind registered it wasn't a very smart idea and that she should have just gone into the lobby but in the end she couldn't bring herself to enter. So instead she robotically sat and remained on the bench closest to her as her mind was consumed by her thoughts of how she was here in LA to begin with. Her body was so numb and her mind was so overwhelmed she didn't even notice when Addison moved to shelter her body with the umbrella she was holding, nor did she notice when Addison grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her into a standing position and guided her out towards the parking lot. Her mind was a mess that was dangerously close to shutting down.<p>

Addison couldn't wrap her head around Meredith's presence outside Cedars-Sinai let alone what she was doing here in LA. Realizing the young woman was probably on the verge of hypothermia she helped Meredith to her feet and led the way to her car which she had clicked the auto start button on her keychain to warm it up as they walked through the rain soaked parking lot together under Addison's umbrella.

To Addison it seemed as if Meredith's body was on autopilot and she was thankful that at least she was moving of her own volition so she could get them to her car with relative ease. Opening up the passenger side door she helped ease Meredith down into the seat and secured her seatbelt before shutting the door and moving to the driver's side and closing her umbrella before quickly ducking into her car and setting her purse and umbrella in the back before sliding her keys into the ignition and pulling out of the parking lot and turning her car in the direction of home to figure out why one Meredith Grey was currently sitting in her car in the middle of LA.

The drive was completely silent and Addison was beginning to worry about what brought Meredith here in the first place. What also confused Addison was why Meredith had come here to seek her out since she figured she'd be the last person she would confide in or come to. The younger woman's behavior wasn't helping the thoughts running through Addison's head. Meredith appeared to be a ghost of herself with the blank stare taking up residence on her facial features and Addison had no indication of what was going on in the woman's head. _At least she's not shivering nearly as much as when I found her on that bench. I, on the other hand, have soaked my blouse completely and feel like I just ran a marathon it's so damn hot in this car, _Addison thought as she finally turned onto her street and drove down until she reached her house right on the beach before pulling into the driveway, parking, and shutting the car off. Thankfully the rain had let up to a light drizzle so they wouldn't have to rush to get into the house to escape the rain. Extracting herself from the driver's seat after grabbing her purse, Addison quickly walked to the passenger side and helped untangle Meredith from the seatbelt before helping her out of the car. Addison walked the two of them up the sidewalk and into the house once she got the door unlocked before quickly dumping her things on the floor next to the door and kicking her shoes aside in the process.

Seeing Meredith just standing there Addison realized that she would be taking charge this evening. She slowly lead Meredith into her bathroom and sat her down on the toilet seat before turning to twist the nozzles on the shower to heat up. Quickly the room began to fill with steam as the water took no time at all to come to temperature. Pulling a towel from the linen closet she placed it on a nearby hook and crouched down to Meredith's level. She noticed that there was still no reaction from her and realized something was troubling the woman to the point that she had shutdown. Addison took the lead and bent down so that she could ease the drenched shoes off her feet before moving to stand and help Meredith out of her shirt before helping her stand to lose the skintight jeans that clung to her body like a second skin. If anyone had told Addison that at some point in her life that she would be undressing Meredith Grey she would have called them crazy, yet here she was doing exactly that. She positioned herself to the side of Meredith as she guided her closer to the shower and slid back the door so she could easily get Meredith through the walk-in door. Coming behind her she unclasped her bra and helped remove her underwear as she tried to give her some privacy since Meredith was standing in front of her with her back facing her nude.

Placing a hand at her hip and on her shoulder, Addison helped position Meredith under the steady stream of pulsating water. As she was turning around to guide the shower door shut she felt a tight grip clasp around her wrist as she winced at the tight hold keeping her from exiting the bathroom. Turning her face towards the shower she noticed Meredith looking at her for the first time and the look on her face screamed that she was freaked out and vulnerable. Unsure of what she should do, Addison stood there and waited for whatever had prompted Meredith to grasp her wrist with a death grip.

"Stay," Meredith said just above a whisper that could barely be heard over the powerful showerhead spouting water down into a pulsating stream. Her eyes followed Addison's every move and her eyes continued to stare into Addison's face waiting for the redhead to follow her instruction. Addison tried to pull back and sit down on the toilet to show that she wasn't going anywhere but Meredith never loosened her grip on her wrist. Noticing she wasn't going to gain use of her wrist anytime soon, Addison slid the shower door further back so she could step in behind Meredith as she still had hold of her left wrist. The fleeting thought of this impromptu shower ruining her clothes registered briefly in her mind before she realized she wouldn't care in the long run.

Addison felt her arm being tugged around Meredith's waist and she realized that the woman more than likely wanted to feel secure and that she felt that way in her presence. Reaching around Addison wrapped her other arm around Meredith's waist and pulled the younger woman tightly against her and hugged her from behind, trying to reassure the woman that whatever was going on that she would be there for her despite their sordid past and the differences between them. Feeling Meredith start to shake in her arms she held on tighter as she felt Meredith's arms wrap around her own waist before she felt a heart wrenching sob escape her lips as her body began to shake beneath Addison's firm hold. Addison was definitely questioning what had happened to bring Meredith to this breaking point. She held her until she felt her body settle down again and remain in her arms. Beginning to feel the stiffness from surgery Addison realized they couldn't stay in the shower forever. Releasing her hold on Meredith she felt her tighten her arms around her waist further, fearing that Addison was going to leave.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise," Addison whispered into Meredith's ear trying to assure her of that. She felt Meredith nod into her shoulder as her arms tightened around Addison's waist. Content with knowing Meredith understood she wasn't going anywhere, she reached for the bottle of shampoo on the ledge and poured a dollop in the palm of her hand before lathering it up and running her hands through Meredith's hair, slightly massaging her scalp as the shampoo ran through her fingers and started to gently wash her hair. After getting the suds all over she slowly moved them backwards under the stream, letting the water rinse over Meredith as she helped keep the suds out of her face. She repeated her same actions with the conditioner after it had settled in her hair a little. Once the hair was finished Addison turned to grab the shower pouf and gel that were near the shampoo and conditioner. She turned Meredith so her back was against her chest as she squirted some gel onto the pouf and holding it off to the side for a moment to be certain Meredith wouldn't be uncomfortable with this situation.

"Do you want to do this or do you want me to continue?" Addison asked gently still holding the pouf off to the side, uncertain of what Meredith's answer would be. Once again Meredith nodded her consent and Addison continued cautiously, unsure if her movements would startle her or not bother her at all. She moved the pouf in her hand over Meredith's body, tracing a path along each arm and then up and around her stomach before pausing just below the sternum and at the ribs. Her hand hesitated before deftly moving up Meredith's chest and over each breast before trailing across her collarbones and shoulders and around to her back where she easily washed from her vantage point. She bent down slightly to trail the soapy ball across Meredith's behind and down the back of her thighs and calves before reaching around to run her hand over the front of each of Meredith's legs and feeling satisfied she had cleaned any dirt off easily she gently stood up to finish. Easing Meredith back into the spray from the showerhead to help rinse off the soap on the front, she gently eased Meredith around in her arms so they were facing each other so her back could lose the soapy film that would develop otherwise. They stood staring at one another as the water ran down Meredith's back before the younger woman leaned in and rested her head against Addison's shoulder and started to shake again. This time Addison felt it was a mixture of her crying and from being in the shower.

Easily reaching around Meredith she turned the nozzles off and held the shaking woman for a moment before guiding them easily out of the shower and grabbing the towel she had left hanging against the wall and wrapping it around Meredith's damp body. She guided her over to the toilet seat once again and sat her down and wrapped the towel tighter around her.

"Wait right here, okay? I'm just going to grab us both a set of dry clothes. I'll be right back, I promise," Addison explained, noticing the tension that had immediately filled the woman's body but eased slightly knowing that she wouldn't leave her alone. Making a hasty exit Addison walked into the bedroom leaving droplets of water behind everywhere she walked. She quickly riffled through her dresser before grabbing both of them a fresh change of underwear, sweats, and shirts to wear. _Jesus, what is going on tonight? What the hell am I even __**doing**__?_ Addison asked herself internally, wondering when she would find out what was going on with the young doctor to have brought her all the way to LA but right now those thoughts didn't matter. Shaking the thoughts from her head she quickly moved back into the bathroom with dry clothes. Addison helped Meredith stand back up as she rubbed the towel up and down trying to soak up as much water as possible from her body as possible before putting on dry clothes.

Letting the towel drop a little and wrapping it around Meredith's waist, Addison helped slide on one of her old Columbia Med shirts over her head before helping her settle into the shirt. Reaching for the pair of boy shorts underwear she kneeled down at her feet and waited for Meredith to step into them before she slid them up her legs to their destination before grabbing a pair of well-worn sweats and repeating the same action. Grabbing the towel at Meredith's waist she tossed it in the hamper that was in the corner of the bathroom before guiding the still shivering doctor into the bedroom to get under the covers and try and get some sleep.

"I'm going back into the bathroom to clean up. I'll be back out in a few minutes, just lay here, okay?" Addison asked, her eyes conveying her worry as she watched Meredith sink into the mattress and allow the covers to be wrapped around her. She gave Meredith one last look before walking towards the bathroom and stripping off her drenched blouse along the way and entering through the bathroom door. The entire time she felt a pair of blue eyes burning like holes on her back as she walked away.


	4. Exposing the Present

A/N: Alright, here's the fourth chapter! With a little convincing from iam-kelly, I've decided to stick with the way I've already written out part of this story and tailor it accordingly. Just for reference, I suppose this story would take place excluding Meredith's actions in "It's a Long Way Back" and her and Derek's decision in "White Wedding" from season 7. I can't recall many of the later episodes so we're just going to go a little AU from what's happened in this past season with some stuff maybe being brought up or relevant, okay? Hope you guys don't mind that too much! Any mistakes are mine as I've proofed this a few times without my glasses on, so hopefully there aren't any major snags or anything. Thanks for your reviews as well! Very much appreciated reading them and I'm glad to know people are reading! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Once again, insert the disclaimer that I do not own Grey's Anatomy, sadly enough.

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><p>While Meredith was burrowing deeper into the covers it was like her mind finally sprang to life letting her recap the past few hours. Groaning she realized she actually had made the trip to LA and had been under Addison's care for the most recent hour at least. It was like her mind wouldn't let her reveal her true reasons for coming down to California just yet because no matter how hard she contemplated her actions she couldn't peg the exact reason for hopping on a plane to LA and tracking Addison down through the redhead's best friend Naomi at her practice. The woman had seemed hesitant at first to reveal Addison's whereabouts but something changed quickly in their conversation and Naomi quickly disclosed where Addison had gone.<p>

Meredith vaguely remembered getting to Cedars-Sinai but the rest after that was pretty much a blur. She recalled sitting outside in the torrential downpour because she was afraid of going into the hospital for some reason. So instead of going in or finding a cab to take her to a hotel, Meredith had just sat down on the closest bench and sat silently. How she got to Addison's was a mystery to her or how the redhead had even ran into her to begin with. She would have to ask Addison to fill in the blanks for her since she was a little fuzzy on the details.

Deciding that analyzing things now wouldn't be any benefit to her she continued to stare at the bathroom door waiting for it to open and for Addison to reappear. She had heard the shower turn on earlier in her musings but now no longer heard it running. She assumed a quick shower and a change was on the good doctor's agenda after a surgery at the hospital. While reminding herself to thank Addison her musings were interrupted as the redhead walked through the bathroom door in an outfit similar to the one she had on. She watched as the redhead stayed in her line of sight before eventually moving out of view when she walked around to the side opposite from Meredith's current position. Feeling the bed shift with the added weight behind her, Meredith felt the covers lift and felt a cold rush of air surge beneath them before being comfortably returned to its previous position.

She heard a subtle sigh as Addison got comfortable underneath the covers before turning to see where exactly the redhead was lying. It seemed as if Addison was willing to leave things unspoken between them this evening which was alright with Meredith since she had yet to attempt to get her head on straight with this whole mess. She curiously let her gaze wander over what she could see before noticing Addison had her eyes shut and was looking just as haggard as Meredith felt. She was sure having to deal with your ex-husband's ex-dirty mistress wasn't an every day occurrence for most people on top of whatever pulled her away from the practice and over to Cedars-Sinai. Meredith made another mental note and stored it away to check up on later. The seconds stretched on as Meredith continued to stare at Addison and it was as if she knew she was being watched when her eyes opened up and looked straight back with a small smile playing at her lips while still looking concerned with the situation at hand. Tomorrow Meredith would start to unravel her issues and clue Addison in on what had initially brought her knocking on Addison's proverbial LA door.

Meredith felt a few slight thumps against the bed as she realized Addison was patting her hand against it to invite her closer. Meredith slowly eased her way over to the redhead and noticed the outstretched arm that was welcoming her into an embrace. She rotated her body so that she could stretch out against the length of Addison's body as she felt an arm wrap securely around her waist holding her firmly. For the first time Meredith felt safer wrapped in Addison's arms than she had felt in a long time. With that thought in mind it wasn't long before she succumbed to the much needed sleep her body had been begging for as she relaxed in the warm embrace around her.

Feeling Meredith's breathing even out Addison let herself relax into the current situation which was a strange revelation for the redhead. She never would have thought she'd be caught dead comforting Meredith let alone sharing a bed and holding her close keeping her safe. Addison's mind was buzzing from processing everything that had happened in a single day.

_I don't even know what she's doing here. Hell, I don't even know what I'm doing here right now. Chill out Addison and get a grip. You're doing her a favor and being a good friend. Wait, is that what we are to each other, friends? Why doesn't this feel weird? Shouldn't it be at least __**slightly **__awkward to be holding my ex-husband's lover in my arms? I wonder if Derek did something or if she just needed space? Okay, back it up Addison and just let it go until tomorrow. Not like I'm going to find out telepathically or anything, _Addison thought. Giving up to trying figure out what was happening Addison decided to just roll with it and see where things would go when she learned what occurred to bring Meredith all the way to California in the first place. Feeling content with her current position, Addison quickly drifted off to sleep with a small smile on her face thinking things would be okay.

Meredith woke up slowly feeling refreshed and content with how she was feeling. Her mind was still fuzzy with the typical morning grogginess that had yet to lift before she regained her bearings and surroundings. Meredith had yet to open her eyes and was quite satisfied with remaining in a semi-conscious state until her body picked up on the subtle breath she felt tickling her ear. Now alert, Meredith thought back to what had happened last night. Knowing she didn't go on a typical dark and twisty tequila binge, her mind raced to fit all the right pieces to the puzzle together. Immediately relaxing she recalled hazily making her way to Los Angeles seeking out one Addison Montgomery. Last night began to make more sense and the realization hit Meredith that Addison had been kind enough to take care of her when she had no obligation to extend a lending hand.

Slowly opening her eyes to take in her physical surroundings, Meredith suppressed a groan when she realized she was still wrapped in the redhead's arms. It appeared that Addison wasn't much of a mover when it came to actually sleeping. Meredith, on the other hand recalled falling asleep with her back to the older woman and her current view was of the blue fabric of Addison's v-neck shirt. Meredith soon realized her hands were more than warm and noticed that they had snaked up under Addison's shirt and were currently splayed across the doctor's toned stomach. Meredith snorted at what she'd gotten herself into. Not that she didn't mind the current predicament, but it's not the way she wanted to begin her morning when Addison had no idea what had been going on or why she had shown up in LA.

Quickly removing her hands Meredith brought them up between their bodies and listened to Addison groan at perhaps the loss of contact she didn't quite comprehend. Meredith stayed still and watched Addison slowly start to wake up since she couldn't escape the grasp that was holding her comfortably against the redhead's torso. To Meredith, Addison seemed to be fighting the loss of being asleep by burrowing her head further into her pillow. Meredith gathered that she wasn't much of a morning person but always made it work due to her profession. Seeing the redhead finally bite the bullet and open her eyes, Meredith smiled at her as she noticed Addison registered the events from the night before.

"Good morning," Meredith said softly, letting out a small yawn afterwards. She made note that the redhead had yet to relinquish her hold and filed that away for further contemplation at another point in time.

"Morning," Addison said, her tone laden with sleep and sounding husky after several hours of being inactive. Meredith felt the redhead release her hold upon her as she stretched lithely across the bed before extracting herself from the sanctity of the covers and grabbing her glasses off the bedside table and placing them atop the bridge of her nose. Following suit Meredith all but crawled out from under the covers before realizing she didn't know anything about Addison's house except for the bathroom and bedroom. Meredith watched from her position on the edge of the bed as Addison went to the nearby dresser and grabbed a clip before tossing her hair into a messy bun before eyeing her and tilting her head in the direction beyond the bedroom door before she walked out of the room. Meredith followed and let her eyes wander around the immaculate living room before she ended up behind Addison in the kitchen who had started making a pot of coffee for the both of them.

"I'll be right back," Addison said suddenly before she quickly disappeared. Moments later she reappeared with the daily paper in hand before placing it on the island counter to be looked at sometime later. "Are you hungry?" She asked as she moved around the kitchen and rummaged around for what food she had in the house when she turned around and her gaze settling before Meredith returned the eye contact.

"I could give an army a run for their money in the hunger department," Meredith said with a slight chuckle as a rumble from her stomach chimed in as if to prove a point. Meredith moved to sit at the island counter since she didn't know what to do with herself. "I'd offer to help you cook, but my skills are lacking," She said, shrugging her shoulders at her lack of ability to prepare even a simple meal without burning it and coming close to setting the house ablaze. Addison chuckled at that and busied herself with moving around the kitchen, pulling out numerous things she'd need to prepare their breakfast.

"No problem. I enjoy cooking and it will be nice to cook for more than just myself for a change," Addison exclaimed while pulling out ingredients to start making their breakfast. Meredith just sat in the comfortable silence and watched Addison move around her kitchen and enjoyed seeing the usually all-business doctor at ease and more relaxed than she had ever seen her before. Without even realizing she had done it, Addison had placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of her and was intrigued at how she had managed to pull it off. Thankful she grasped the mug in her hands and took a small sip of the steaming liquid before letting out a small sigh as she tasted the exquisite blend. It was certainly much better than the stuff she had on hand at home back in Seattle.

"Thank you, Addison," Meredith said, her eyes looking into the black liquid she was swirling around in her cup before looking up into Addison's eyes.

"You're welcome. If you don't like your coffee black I do have some half and half in the fridge and some sugar if you prefer," Addison rattled off, unaware that Meredith had also been referring to everything she had done the other day as she continued to finish cooking.

"No, not for the coffee. Well yes, thanks for the coffee too, but I mean thanks for dealing with me yesterday," Meredith said shyly as she was a little embarrassed at being that much of a mess last night. Taking a generous sip of her coffee before setting it down and rotating the cup around to occupy her hands. Being straightforward with her answers was something Meredith rarely did. There was always a play on words or evading the topic when it came to Meredith actually holding a serious conversation with someone, especially one that started off with her actually giving thanks. But for some reason Addison made her feel comfortable enough to talk without feeling cornered or pressured to answer.

"No thanks necessary. I may not know what's going on, but I'm not that much of a bitch that I'd leave you sitting out in the middle of a downpour in an unfamiliar city," Addison quipped as she reached into the fridge to pull out a few containers of fruit and dumping some of each in a bowl before rinsing them in the sink.

"That's not very Satan-like of you. Were we wrong all those years ago calling you Satan?" Meredith asked, her tone light and intrigued with their conversation.

"As you might recall, I prefer Ruler of All That is Evil, but if that's too long of a title than Satan will suffice," she said, a hint of amusement in her voice at recalling the memory from her days at Seattle Grace. Meredith openly laughed at the title and remembered hearing it several years back when Addison had stuck around at Seattle Grace.

"Well, Ruler of All That is Evil, thanks again for hauling my ass back here last night. If you hadn't I'd probably still be sitting outside the hospital or taking up residence in a bed in the ER," Meredith said before drinking the last of her coffee and setting the mug aside for the time being.

"You're welcome, Meredith," Addison sincerely said as she fully finished preparing their food and grabbed a few plates from the cupboard and piled a stack of pancakes onto one and separating two omelets on different plates as well as adding a few pieces of bacon to each individual plate. Meredith watched her grab the bowl of strawberries and blueberries before making short work of two nearby bananas and adding them in for good measure. "Toss however many pancakes you want on your plate and grab some fruit if you'd like," she added as she reached into the fridge to grab some orange juice and quickly grabbed two glasses and poured them each a glass. Grabbing two forks and knives, Addison passed one set over to Meredith and held on to the other for herself before adding two pancakes to her plate and spooning out a generous portion of fruit into a small bowl for herself. Meredith followed suit and was just about to ask for syrup when Addison reached behind her and grabbed a small bottle and passed it along to Meredith's waiting hand. Each took their turn with the syrup before deeming the food was ready to be eaten. Just as Meredith was about to take a bite Addison interrupted her.

"Hold that thought, Meredith. Follow me with your food," Addison said as she picked up her plate and placed her bowl alongside her food and grabbed her cup of orange juice and walked out of the kitchen through a door that lead out to a balcony overlooking the ocean and its waves rising up along the beach. Meredith obediently followed and took a seat opposite Addison at the table set up on the large balcony before being swept up in the beautiful view of the ocean. Both Addison and Meredith had turned their attention to the food in front of them. Meredith's appetite kicked into high gear after she had taken a bite of the fluffy pancakes as she continued to ravenously polish off the food atop her plate. They sat in companionable silence once they finished, each caught up in their thoughts before Meredith felt it was time to break the silence and offer an explanation for her arrival in Los Angeles, but not before thanking Addison for the wonderful breakfast.

"Addison, that was wonderful. Thanks for taking the time to cook since my version of breakfast more than likely would have consisted of coffee and toast," Meredith stated and chuckled at the thought, realizing it was nice to actually have a decent meal for once.

"You're welcome. I enjoyed the cooking just as much as you enjoyed the eating of it," Addison lightly said as Meredith watched her attention turn back towards the ocean. Meredith noticed she looked very much at peace staring out across the ocean from their amazing viewpoint perched on Addison's balcony. Meredith almost hated having to break the silence of this serene moment but it was something that couldn't be delayed since Meredith had decisions to make that would impact her future.

Taking a deep breath, Meredith decided it was now or never to break the ice regarding her appearance. "He cheated," Meredith whispered, her head looking down at her hands in her lap as she fidgeted with her barely there fingernails.


	5. An Explanation of Events

A/N: All right, here I go unleashing the fifth chapter for you guys! It's a day early as I was initially going to post it on Saturday, but it's my birthday weekend and I more than likely won't be around tomorrow or Sunday to post anything. I will also do my best to post something on Dancing On My Own but can't make a promise there.

This chapter is a little rougher than I'd like but I said I would stick to a timeline and I plan on doing that as best I can. If it comes down to it and I look through this some more and end up tweaking it I will post a revised version and let you know. These first several chapters are kinda just seeing Meredith think things out and work on establishing a better friendship with Addison before things will eventually take a turn towards a more romantic inclination.

Onto the disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy nor do I reap any benefits from posting this. GA belongs solely to ABC and Shonda Rhimes.

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><p>"Who cheated? Derek?" Addison asked incredulously, her full attention now directed toward the young resident sitting before her looking very unsure of herself and looking like she'd rather run than sit here and discuss what had happened. Addison had figured Derek would have been the culprit. The last time she had come to Seattle Grace for a case they had appeared to be happy together. Perhaps even then it had been just an act.<p>

"Yes, Derek. No one knows except for Richard. I had to explain to him why I needed to take some leave so suddenly and saying it was personal wasn't enough from a pseudo-father's standpoint. Acting as the chief though, personal was suitable enough to grant me some time. He pried until he worked it out of me and I had to have him promise me he would not harass Derek," Meredith shakily explained as her hands toyed with the hem of the Columbia Med shirt she was wearing.

"Not even Christina knows and she's my person. She's too busy with Owen and her own problems for me to spring this on her. I don't know if she'd fully understand anyway," Meredith said trying to take a calming breath at finally revealing what had upset her. She looked up and noticed Addison was cautiously watching her and Meredith couldn't quite tell what was going through the redhead's mind.

"How long?" Addison asked, keeping her questions relatively short until she felt more comfortable elaborating. She was holding her anger in check when it came to her feelings towards Derek at this point in time. Addison had also wanted Meredith to explain things at her own pace rather than force it out of her knowing how skittish the resident could be.

"I don't know for certain. I asked him but he wouldn't answer me so I'm guessing long enough. There had been times over the past few months where things hadn't felt quite right and I had my suspicions, but then I was reminded of how you and I first met and how devastated he seemed to be over you cheating on him with Mark. Maybe it was me seeing what I wanted to in thinking he'd never stray because of how much pain it caused. We made a commitment, something he had always been pushing me to do so we could move on and start a life and a family together and in the end, I'm the one left broken," Meredith stated as she stopped fidgeting with her hands in her lap and placed them clasped on the table and sighed, feeling a headache in the works but deciding to keep talking before she lost her nerve.

"For a while now Derek and I have been trying to get pregnant," Meredith trailed off quietly, unsure of how the redhead would take the news despite how long it had been since Addison and Derek had been married and knowing the fact that Addison couldn't have children. Meredith squeezed her hands together tightly again, looking at the whites of her knuckles as they clenched together. Closing her eyes Meredith didn't notice Addison reaching for her hand until she felt the hand close on top of hers before she released some of the tension there and loosened her grip.

"You said trying, so I guess you've been having difficulties?" Addison asked gently, her hand giving Meredith's a squeeze to show her understanding and support.

"Quite the understatement, actually. We tried without drugs for a while but it just never happened. Eventually we saw a specialist and tried a series of fertility shots but then the drugs started impairing my vision and it started affecting my work. We stopped the treatment so it wouldn't ruin my career as a surgeon," Meredith explained as she looked up to meet Addison's eye. "After we stopped the treatments things were off between us. At work it always appeared like everything was fine and no one suspected anything. Everyone thought we were happy and we were just going through the motions but the actions felt empty from Derek, like he wasn't really there. You know what it's like to be the center of the rumor mill. It can make your time at the hospital much more difficult than it should be," Meredith trailed off to take a sip of her orange juice before placing the glass gently back on the table.

"Did Derek have anything to say when you confronted him?" Addison asked gently, wondering if Meredith had gotten any type of answer to help her understand why this had happened to her. Not that it ever should have happened in the first place since Meredith didn't deserve to go through this sort of pain nor did having the answers help make it any easier once the deed had been done. Addison wouldn't have wished this on her worst enemies, especially knowing what she knew.

"He claimed that our problem with being unable to conceive had become too much for him to handle and that I had started to become too distant. Derek had stated that I wasn't available and he just felt suffocated by the situation and that he did what he did to escape, to feel something other than drowning," Meredith said softly as the tears began to flood her vision before quickly trailing down her cheeks. She felt both of Addison's hands grasp hers tightly as she felt her presence in the chair next to her.

"Meredith, look at me," Addison said and waited for Meredith to acknowledge her request before locking her gaze onto the eyes looking right back into her own. "You need to know that you are not to blame for what has happened or for Derek's actions. So what if you became a little distant. It's not easy feeling like you've failed at the one thing that should come naturally to our own bodies let alone adding treatments into the equation to facilitate that process and it still not taking," Addison said gently, fighting the anger quickly boiling beneath her skin as she thought of how much of an ass Derek had been. Meredith nodded her head indicating she had taken in what Addison had said before shifting her hands to take hold of Addison's, giving them both a gentle squeeze before standing up from her seat and walking over to the ledge of the balcony and dropping her head.

Not knowing what to do with herself, Addison maintained her seated position at the table and watched Meredith from the short distance away. She noticed how her hands resting on the balcony were gripping the wood much tighter than one normally would and that her breathing had shifted since being seated at the table. Addison figured that she would give Meredith the benefit of the doubt and let her have some moments to herself in the silence since she was unsure of what her next move should be. Not expecting any sudden movements, Addison was caught off guard when Meredith began walking down the balcony stairs towards the sandy beach below. Addison stood and took up residence where Meredith had just been standing as she watched the younger woman reach the beach and walk towards the point where the tide washed up on shore before walking into the low tide a little.

Meredith needed a moment to compose herself and the sand and water had been calling to her since stepping foot on that balcony. She sighed as she felt the cool sand beneath her feet and between her toes and curled her toes further into the sand, enjoying the feeling it brought. Meredith could also feel Addison's eyes watching her movements as she stood still taking in her surroundings. The early morning sun glistening off the water was a beautiful sight to take in and a view that Meredith had hoped would help calm her rage. She hadn't wanted to explode up there on the balcony; it had felt too confined like it was constricting her.

_After all, this is my MO to run away from my problems. I'm here in LA, aren't I? Derek answered why he had cheated and I walked away without even blowing up on him. Why should I even give him an explanation? He's the one who cheated on __**me**__, not the other way around, dammit! What the hell was he thinking? At least I won't have to file for divorce since we aren't legally married. Derek Shepherd. Derek __**fucking**__ Shepherd, _Meredith thought and let his name be the last thing to run through her mind before being unable to contain her emotions any longer. "Fuck!" Meredith shouted to the openness around her, resting her hands at her hips as her anger began to boil over before beginning to pace in the sand.

Addison had watched the outburst from the balcony before deciding to brave the onslaught of anger that was sure to occur as there was nothing like the fury of a woman scorned. Making her way down to the beach, Addison kept her distance and stood a little ways behind Meredith as she continued to pace back and forth like a caged animal. Addison felt bad for Meredith, knowing this couldn't be easy since she had dealt with the anger from Derek when she had done the exact same thing.

"Where does he get off cheating on me because _**I'm**_ distant? How would he react if he was told he was sterile? I was told I had a hostile uterus! We knew getting pregnant wouldn't be an easy road to take yet we went down it because it's what we both decided on. I have never felt comfortable with the idea of children since something always held me back yet I was willing to do this for him because he wanted a family and then when the going gets tough, he's the one who jumps ship and shacks up with some woman because he's tired of my frustration and his dream not coming true. Who the hell does he think he is? I'm still the one with the hostile uterus, dammit, and this whole thing has made me just as hostile!" Meredith shouted, her hands becoming more animated as they moved along just as wildly as her emotions. Addison watched as Meredith ceased her pacing and stopped to look at her, her eyes full of pain that Addison wished she could take away.

"Meredith, you have every right to be angry at Derek. He betrayed the trust you had given him when that wasn't an easy thing to do for you in the first place. I'm so sorry Derek's put you through this as it's not something that's easy to deal with; I should know," Addison explained, stepping closer to the agitated woman who was looking desperately for an end to the pain she was feeling.

"I just don't understand, Addison. Okay, I may have been distant at times but Derek wasn't the only one having a hard time with our situation. It's like I can't wrap my mind around what he's done. I never would have expected him to do this to me when he knows the pain it brings. He wouldn't tell me who he cheated with and I felt like my skin was crawling when I was near him so I just left without another word. It just hurt too much," Meredith trailed off softly, the reality of the situation hitting her once again realizing her life was a jumbled mess. Meredith slowly lowered herself onto the soft sand and positioned herself looking out over the water. Addison joined the woman and took a seat next to her and remained silent, feeling helpless at being unable to help with Meredith's situation.

Addison felt Meredith shift closer to her as the younger woman reached out her right hand which Addison grasped within her own before wrapping her left arm securely around Meredith as she began crying for the pain she felt that was ripping her world as she knew it apart. Knowing what Derek had done, Addison wondered how much he had to have changed for him to walk away from the commitment Meredith had stepped up and agreed upon. Addison vowed to herself that she would make time to speak with Derek to unleash her own anger at another time and figure out what Derek had to say for himself. Right now, though it was about putting the pieces known as Meredith Grey back together.

Meredith had cried until it began to be too painful to continue before she worked to calm herself down and rein in her emotions. She hadn't expected to jump from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other so quickly. Raising her head from where it had been nestled against Addison's shoulder, Meredith composed herself the best she could under the circumstances and let her gaze settle on the shimmering water before them.

"I'm going to leave him," Meredith said, her tone indicating she was sure of her decision. Her gaze lingered on the ocean's waves before glancing in Addison's direction, catching the redhead's eye. "I mean, first I'll have to actually speak to him, which I'm not exactly jumping for joy to do. Christina will want to skin him alive when she finds out. Derek just better hope that whomever he cheated on me with better not be a member of the staff or they'll be skinned right along with him," Meredith joked, a small chuckle escaping her lips at the thought of Christina going postal over this recent catastrophe and looking out for her well-being.

"I always figured that if any of the hospital staff ever came up missing it'd be Yang's doing. Hell, for a time I thought I'd be her first body she'd need your help hiding," Addison said, chuckling at the memory of her arrival at Seattle Grace.

"There were plenty of times where Christina had offered and there were a few times I may have seriously contemplated it, but I always turned it down. I knew you weren't the enemy and that you were just dealing with the whole situation and struggling just as much, if not more than I was. I didn't exactly make it easy for you, either, which I'm sorry about that," Meredith said honestly, hoping that Addison would allow her to make amends for their tumultuous past.

"Thank you, and I can't let you be the only one apologizing. I made your life at the hospital quite unbearable since I couldn't get over the fact that my marriage was ending and I took every chance I could to blame you when you were just collateral damage in my downward spiral realizing I had screwed up. So for that, Meredith, I apologize dragging you into it in the first place," Addison said, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders at being able to apologize despite recalling a similar situation between them when a drug-induced conversation took place when Meredith had her appendix taken out, thinking that the younger woman hadn't recalled that instance it helped knowing she'd remember it this time.

"Friends?" Meredith questioned, holding out her hand as a peace offering to put the past behind them. Meredith felt for the first time after learning of Derek's betrayal that things would be all right in the end.

"Friends," Addison stated, reaching out to give Meredith's hand a friendly shake in return, smiling at the gesture the younger woman had offered. After all these years, Addison finally realized that becoming friends with the dark and twisty resident could be a good thing for her. Addison released her hand and settled back into their comfortable silence.

"Um, Addison?" Meredith questioned hesitantly breaking the air between them, shifting from her previously light-hearted demeanor into appearing nervous at whatever she intended to ask the redhead.

"Yes, Meredith?" Addison asked, curious at what the younger woman's question must be in order to make her seemingly nervous all of a sudden. She glanced over at the fidgeting woman and waited for a response.

"Would you mind if I stayed here for a little while? Richard gave me a week to figure things out. I'd prefer to deal with Derek when my thoughts are more organized and I feel I can actually face him," Meredith asked tentatively, unsure of if the surgeon would be okay with her crashing her home life like this. Meredith hadn't really planned this whole visit out since it was a spur of the moment decision.

"Of course you can stay here for a few days. You didn't think I'd kick you out, did you? Meredith, you need to do what's best for you and if that means getting your head on straight here in LA, then I'd like to help. It's not going to be easy dealing with all of this, trust me, I know," Addison agreed, remembering what it was like dealing with her rampant emotions when she had been evaluating her own actions during her marriage and what happened after.

"Thank you, Addison. I appreciate that and everything you've already done for me," Meredith exclaimed with earnest gratitude for the kindness the redhead had granted her after all these years.

"You're welcome. Now c'mon, let's go figure out what we want to be on the agenda for today," Addison said, her tone light and understanding. Addison stood and brushed off the remaining sand and moved her outstretched hand to help Meredith get on her feet, both literally and figuratively.

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><p>AN: Just wanted to address the comments you guys have left behind from the last chapter! I truly do appreciate them as you guys make my day when I hear my BlackBerry indicate an e-mail and it's from one of you readers!

thesoundof: Yes, he's a McCheating bastard! There's always been something about his character over the years I've never liked. He sees things too black and white when the world obviously has a larger spectrum to interpret. Especially after I saw the finale today. Also, the fact that he had an affair with Meredith, went back to working on his marriage with Addison, yet SLEPT with Meredith while they were trying to reconcile bothers me. Wanting to have his cake and eat it too, me thinks? We'll also find out eventually who Derek chose, any speculation on who?

Kilago and Hasting: I love the idea of Addison truly being a very sweet person beneath that very professional demeanor. Not only that, a lot of times people are a lot more open outside of the workplace as I've personally experienced as well showing a different side of themselves to those they invest their time with. Why would you show your cards to someone you have no intention of getting to know on a deeper level?

iam-kelly: Thank you, dear! If I'm stuck again (which is likely to happen again) I will hit you up. Thanks for sticking around to read my ramblings, lol!


	6. The Beginnings of a Bridge

Having made it inside the spacious home after helping Addison gather their dishes and placing them into the dishwasher, Meredith found herself standing awkwardly and unsure of what to do with herself. The young doctor silently watched as Addison quickly arranged a few things and swiftly wiped down the counter before giving Meredith a small smile.

"Here, let me give you a quick tour so that way you know where everything is so you don't have to feel awkward," Addison said, gently waving Meredith along to follow her. "As you've already seen, here's the kitchen and the balcony," Addison said waving her had dismissively as they were exiting the room.

"Adjoined dining room with the kitchen," Addison said pointing out the obvious. There was an elegant table placed in the center of the room with several chairs surrounding it. The table was beautiful and had a very dark stain and gloss finish that looked like it had been custom made to fit the décor of the room. The room itself was a mixture of brown and cream based colors, creating a warm atmosphere to sit amongst. There also appeared to be a few shelves that tied in with the classical design of the dining table and other items that fit perfectly in the room. Meredith obediently followed Addison out of the dining room and back towards the front of the house.

"This is the living room," Addison said, briefly turning around in the center of the room as if to showcase it. "The couch is almost as comfortable as the bed," Addison explained as Meredith gave a quick look at the plush white sofa and the matching loveseat. Giving the room another look, Meredith noticed that this room was painted differently than the dining room. It was a very light shade of blue with white trim. The atmosphere and color of the room reminded Meredith of a naval theme and it held a very relaxing aura to it. The windows at the back of the room looked out over the expanse of the beach and ocean giving anyone who looked through them a breathtaking view. Meredith found herself pulled towards the windows and stood, watching the water below feeling a sense of tranquility sweep over her.

"It's one of the things I love about this place," Addison said quietly, coming up beside the young woman and looking out as well before glancing briefly at the woman who was absorbed in the moment. Addison heard her let out a murmur of agreement before turning to face the redhead to continue the quick tour of her home. Moving from the windows they made their way into a decent sized hallway with a few doors off each side of the corridor.

"This is the guest bedroom," Addison said as she pointed into the room before continuing down the hall with Meredith in tow and walking towards the second door on the right. "Nothing fancy about this one. Second bathroom," Addison explained before moving to the last two doors across from one another.

"On the left is my bedroom with the bathroom connected to it and this here," Addison motioned with a quick movement of her hand, "is the study," Addison said as she came to a stop at the end of the hall and turning to face the resident.

"You have a beautiful home, Addison. Thanks for the grand tour," Meredith said, admiring the charm Addison's home held. It was a very welcoming place and Meredith found herself glad she was somewhere that held no memories of Derek or any of the issues that would greet her upon her return to Seattle.

"Thanks. Is there anything specific you want to do today to get your mind off of things?" Addison asked making her way into the master bedroom and rummaging through her drawers and closet to figure out what she would wear for the day.

"Is it too early to start drinking?" Meredith asked, a sly smirk gracing her features at the suggestion of alcohol that early in the morning. Meredith watched as Addison raised an eyebrow at the mention of alcohol as she looked at a nearby watch to check the time.

"You're not serious, are you?" Addison trailed off once she realized it was nine in the morning. Glancing at the young woman standing behind her she realized Meredith wasn't joking despite the playful gleam in her eye. "You're not joking," Addison added, laughing at the absurdity of the idea the woman had presented.

"Old habits die hard I guess," Meredith clarified and gave a shrug of her shoulders, leaning against the doorframe watching the redhead look through various clothing items. Meredith realized this Addison wasn't as riddled with tension and anxiety like the last time she had seen her while they worked together at Seattle Grace. No, Meredith realized Addison finally looked like she was happy and wondered what the full extent of that happiness involved. Shrugging off those thoughts, Meredith realized she had tuned out while Addison was talking and only caught the last question she uttered.

"What if I make you a deal?" Addison asked, turning to glance at the woman in the doorway and placing her hands on her hips. Meredith had a look of contemplation before nodding her head in agreement to hear the redhead out. Letting out a small breath she hadn't realized she was holding, Addison plowed on with her proposition.

"We hold off on the heavy drinking until at least after we've had dinner, until then though, we find something that we can both tolerate and if there happens to be alcohol I won't stop you from having a few drinks," Addison proposed, contemplating what they could possibly do when she had no idea what the young resident even liked. Now more than ever, Addison realized she truly didn't know much about the young resident other than the old disdain she used to hold towards the young woman when going through her tumultuous relationship with Derek when in Seattle. With a new resolve, Addison promised in her head that she would work on building upon this newfound friendship and getting to know Meredith.

"Okay, deal. I think I can handle that. Which just made my liver thankful, I'm sure," Meredith said as a chuckle escaped her lips. She never figured the redhead would be one for compromise but she wasn't going to question it. Her body wouldn't be able to tolerate a full day's worth of drinking anymore so the limited drinking would leave her liver and body thankful tomorrow, even with the strong possibility of waking up with a hangover in the morning.

"Well, why don't you give that some thought on what sounds appealing and I'm going to shower and you're free to use the spare bedroom's bathroom," Addison rattled off as she took her glasses off and let down her hair from its makeshift position before realizing the woman had yet to move from her position.

"Could I call in one more favor?" Meredith asked tentatively despite seeing how accommodating the redhead had already been and hoping she wouldn't mind the next question she was about to present.

"I don't see why not," Addison said, giving the woman her full attention to figure out what it was that she needed.

"Do you mind if I borrow something to wear? I got on the plane with just my purse and last I checked, it wasn't big enough to hold an entire wardrobe," Meredith comically explained, her hands expressing her frazzled state at having to ask such a request.

"Sure, just rummage around until you find something you like," Addison said with a flippant wave of her hand and a shrug. The redhead realized that Meredith was a bit embarrassed at having to request such a thing so she didn't want to add to it so a simple answer was the easiest solution in the redhead's mind.

"Perhaps that's one thing we can take care of while we're out. We can start off with that, getting anything you'll need and then we'll go from there," Addison exclaimed, becoming obviously excited at the prospect of going out shopping, which was something she realized, she hadn't done in quite some time.

"I will never call you Satan again, Addison," Meredith said, giving a grateful smile at the redhead's generosity on such short notice. She watched as the redhead chuckled at the comment while heading off to her own bathroom to get ready for the day before she herself poked around to get prepared for the day ahead.

~~GA~~

"Addison," Meredith whined, arms laden down with several bags from shops all around the area. The blonde was not prepared for such an endeavor. Meredith was quickly running out of steam while the redhead seemingly hadn't even needed to take a breath during the entire shopping outing.

"Hm?" Addison mumbled, eyeing her purchases she was loading into the trunk of her car before taking charge of Meredith's bags and placing them in the back as well, not fully noticing the tiredness seeping out of Meredith's frame as she did so.

"Please tell me we're finished?" Meredith asked and huffed, her mind was finally being given time to wander through thoughts that were previously preoccupied with the task of keeping up with Addison in what she called light shopping. Now the only goal Meredith had in mind was a bottle of tequila or some other strong liquor at the nearest bar.

"Yes, I believe I've tortured you enough for one day. I can get quite carried away when I don't check myself," Addison said, making her way into the driver's seat seeing Meredith follow her lead to get in. "We'll do dinner and then commence with your request of heavy drinking," she explained, briefly glossing over what would be happening.

"I never thought we'd finish. I figured they'd have to drag us from the last store we entered to get us to leave when they were closing the place. Can dinner not be a formal affair?" Meredith asked, looking down at her attire. She donned a flowing white button down, short khaki shorts, and sandals and was in no mood to get dressed up to drink herself into a stupor.

"That's no problem. I wasn't thinking anything fancy, anyway. There's a bar that's closer to home that's similar in atmosphere to Joe's but lacking all of the medical personnel if you're okay with that?" Addison proposed, keeping her eyes on the road, weaving through traffic seamlessly.

"Sounds perfect," Meredith murmured, her eyes watching the scenery pass by in a blur of color with the accompaniment sound of honking horns and whirring car engines, her voice falling off with being preoccupied within her own mind. Before Meredith even had time to process the change of location, Addison was pulling into a spot in the parking lot.

~~GA~~

The plates and cutlery had long been vanished from the table to leave the top nearly bare with the essentials usually found in their place. Excluding those items, an empty martini glass, two shot glasses, and a bottle of tequila sat perched upon the table. It was apparent by the liquid left in the bottle that the night was just beginning since there had yet to be any liquor gone from the container.

"How much of that bottle do you plan on being used, Meredith?" Addison tentatively asked as she pushed aside her martini glass to be collected by their waitress on her next walkthrough.

"Good question; we'll see when we get there," Meredith said enthusiastically, pouring out two shots of the not quite amber liquid and nudging the glass in Addison's direction. "At least have a few shots with me?" Meredith inquired, providing a pathetic face to help convince Addison to join her with José since up until now, Meredith had let the bottle go unopened throughout dinner and had yet to have a drink.

"Only a few," Addison warned. "I will not be responsible for helping you completely finish that bottle shot for shot," she exclaimed with a mock serious tone and a slight smirk on her lips as she reached for the glass closest to her. Each clanked their glasses together before uttering a salutation and downing the shot.

"I think I almost forgot what tequila tasted like. Haven't really touched the stuff since med school," Addison rambled, her mouth and throat coming to terms with the liquid she just ingested.

"José is my go-to guy. We've been through a lot together over the years," Meredith explained, rolling the shot glass between her fingers, her face gaining a contemplative look and retreating back to her thoughts without realizing it. Before she knew it, a hand was waving in front of her face to get her attention.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Addison asked, sipping on a new martini that appeared while Meredith was in her own mind. The redhead watched as the young blonde poured herself another shot and let it sit in front of her, her fingers slowly sliding it back and forth, as if contemplating when to take it.

"Just going through all the times I've found myself at the bottom of a bottle of José. I feel there's been too many to adequately count them and I know there are some of those times I don't even recall. There definitely seems to be a trend," Meredith trailed off, frowning at her still full shot glass.

"That doesn't mean anything, you know. It might just mean you need to reevaluate how you deal with your problems. I myself changed that habit, even though the replacement definitely wasn't the right way to go about things either," Addison said, chuckling into her drink before taking another small swallow of the cool liquid.

"What was your replacement?" Meredith asked, curious to what the redhead used to sort through her problems. The image the resident had in her head was one of Addison sitting behind a desk, hair up and glasses on writing out pros and cons of a situation. Waiting for a response, Meredith started to take the awaiting shot, the liquid splashing into her mouth at the same moment her ears registered Addison's response.

"Sex," Addison bluntly said, taking another drink and focusing her attention on the now spluttering resident before her. Realizing her timing, Addison laughed heartily, finally calming down once she realized Meredith was eyeing her.

"Didn't have you pegged for that," Meredith coughed out, regaining her bearings after her slight mishap with the tequila. The alcohol was starting to make her skin feel flushed and despite the fact Meredith was far from prudish, the redhead's answer caught her by surprise and had added to some of the coloring her cheeks were tinged with.

"We all have our destructive tendencies. Alcohol seems to be yours and sex was mine. I'm sure we've both done plenty of things we wish we didn't remember. Lord knows what happened during the times we can't recall!" Addison said, her tone humorous and light with her delivery. Addison watched as Meredith nodded her head in agreement as she poured another shot, the liquid being downed and the glass slammed back down to the table before the blink of an eye.

"Do you ever wish things were different, Addison?" Meredith asked seriously, her face scrunching a little with the thoughts running a mile a minute through her mind. Shaking her head, Meredith waited patiently for the redhead to respond.

"Surprisingly, no, I don't. If things wouldn't have happened the way they did, I wouldn't have reconnected with Sam and Naomi and I wouldn't be who I am right now. As cliché as it might sound," Addison said, giving her shoulders a slight shrug before emptying her martini glass and setting it aside.

"I just," Meredith started before exhaling a shaky breath and continuing. "Sometimes, I wonder if it would be easier to just go back and alter things out of my life, you know? Everything with Derek just has me angry and frustrated and I don't know what I'm going to do about it," Meredith admitted, the tequila loosening her up a bit and allowing her to become more comfortable with discussing the things permeating her thoughts. She sighed again, running her hands through her messy locks before pushing the tequila bottle aside before pressing a palm to her face and propping that elbow up on the table to support the weight.

"Sure it might be easier, but think of what you would have missed out on if you could get rid of things from the past. You might not have ever met Derek, yet without him, you may have missed out on some extraordinary cases and the chance to learn from one of the best, as well as other things that would be affected by minute ripples of change," Addison pointed out while clasping her hands together on top of the table.

"You're right," Meredith sighed. "I just need to get myself together and face dealing with Derek. I don't think he'll be happy with the outcome, but I haven't been happy either," Meredith trailed off with another sigh, her mind stumbling over the many thoughts and memories together with Derek.

"How long have things been off between you two? If you don't mind the inquiry, of course," Addison added, realizing that Meredith might not want to delve into her personal issues.

"It started after we were having trouble conceiving naturally so several months at least. I really noticed the change after the fertility treatments weren't taking and my vision was starting to be affected," Meredith briefly explained, her hand on the table picking at the label of the tequila bottle, her gaze fixed away from the redhead.

"There's still time and other avenues to be explored. You're not down my path yet," Addison exclaimed, the last sentence trailing off quietly.

"Might not matter that there's still time since Derek and I will be over when it's all said and done. It doesn't seem to be in the cards for me. What did you mean by your path anyway?" Meredith questioned, picking up on the redhead's last statement, wondering exactly what Addison meant by it. Meredith glanced at the older woman, realizing she seemed to be in her own world at the moment, not clearly present at their table in the bar.

"My window of opportunity passed me by a while ago and now I can't have children. Do you remember when I was still at Seattle Grace and I took some leave and left the state?" Addison saw Meredith give a small shake of her head, indicating she was unaware of the time she was speaking of. "Well, I took a couple of days to come here, actually. My friend Naomi's a fertility specialist and I was starting to think about having children. The news wasn't promising, to say the least," Addison explained, finally meeting Meredith's gaze since starting this part of their conversation.

"I'm sorry, Addison," Meredith apologized. "I didn't mean to bring this up as I wasn't aware," Meredith earnestly said, feeling a tug at her heart for the woman sitting before her. She had never known the redhead had gone through all of this while still at Seattle Grace. In enemy territory, no less, since it wasn't the friendliest environment to work in.

"No need for an apology, Meredith. Just know that I do understand and can relate to your struggle if you ever do need someone to talk to or help with anything when the time comes," Addison offered, giving a small smile at the knowing look that had appeared in Meredith's eyes. The redhead realized the step she had just taken would allow for a deeper understanding between the two of them and that this would only help in forging a better friendship in the long run.

"Thanks, I'm sure I'll take you up on that offer," Meredith said, grabbing hold of the tequila bottle again, pouring out two shots and sliding one to the smiling redhead before hoisting the shot glass in the air. "To a new beginning," Meredith proclaimed, tilting her glass in Addison's direction.

"To a new beginning. Cheers," Addison added, returning the gesture before throwing the shot back and feeling the liquid warm her throat on its way down.

"What do you say we get out of here? For once, the bottom of this bottle isn't calling me," Meredith explained, pointing to the still half full bottle of José.

"Why, Meredith Grey, turning over a new leaf?" Addison asked with a chuckle before sliding off her seat and grasping her purse before slinging it over her shoulder, indicating with a nod to start heading toward the bar's exit.

"You could say that," Meredith said confidently as she grabbed her belongings and followed the redhead's lead out and to her car.

* * *

><p>AN: Okay guys, first off I want to apologize for the super long wait! I get super busy with college and it throws off my writing mojo beyond repair most times. I finally have had a little time over break to edit, tweak, and write for this so I could give you guys something. I can't guarantee when the next update will happen, so fair warning on that. I will try to get another update out before I head back from the hols, so keep your fingers crossed!

Also, a major shout out to iamkellylouise! She hooked me up with a brief read of what I had and critiqued a little so major props to her!

Hasting: All in due time we'll see who Derek cheated with. We're going to focus on this progression a little before finding out who helped with Derek's infidelity.

thesoundof (if you're still out there checking!): Thank you! I'm truly trying to keep things at an even pace and working on making sure they just don't hop in the sack all of a sudden. In any fic I've ever read, regardless of who the pairings are or what fandom it is, I strongly dislike it when that sort of things happens. By the way, I loved the stellar use of 'asshattery' you provided in the comment.

Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to review! I love seeing your comments and what you're thinking when you post. Please don't be shy and go ahead and review! Even if you don't, I know you're out there, so thanks again for reading guys!


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